You answered C...

You decide to do the sensible thing – stop going to her with your ideas! Instead, you decide to go straight to John, the MD and share your little gems with him first and then run them past Jane, not forgetting to tell her that John seemed quite positive when I told him - or something similar.

This idea seems to avoid the confrontation but I am worried that you would be getting into some pretty serious gamesmanship. You already know that Jane is an experienced influencer – decide whether you want to get into this sort of chess match with her.

 

Our suggestion is D

This is the solution I feel most comfortable with. It isn’t risk free but it is open and assertive – you are saying how Jane’s behaviour makes you feel – not accusing her of ‘bad’ behaviour. The idea of being assertive is really about making your message strong enough to be taken seriously but not so strong that it incites the other person to feel the need to defend themselves. Your words also show that there are things that she does that you admire – this shows that you are viewing the situation – and her – in a balanced way. Jane will probably take comfort from that. I like that fact that you haven’t minced your words. I’d go for this solution too.