You answered A...

Wait until you have cooled down and then go to her office and be straight with her saying something like: Jane, I really need to talk to you. I’m really p***ed off about you talking about my idea in front of everyone before I had had the chance to explore it. I’m actually really frustrated too that you implied that it was yours.

I like this option because it reduces the chances of you showing your resentment by accident – this can he highly corrosive in a relationship. I also like this option because you are speaking assertively – the statement is more or less judgement-free. However, the risk here is that Jane feels backed into a corner and may take a lot of listening to afterwards. It also assumes that she has used your ideas in bad faith – she may have – but can you be sure?

 

Our suggestion is D

This is the solution I feel most comfortable with. It isn’t risk free but it is open and assertive – you are saying how Jane’s behaviour makes you feel – not accusing her of ‘bad’ behaviour. The idea of being assertive is really about making your message strong enough to be taken seriously but not so strong that it incites the other person to feel the need to defend themselves. Your words also show that there are things that she does that you admire – this shows that you are viewing the situation – and her – in a balanced way. Jane will probably take comfort from that. I like that fact that you haven’t minced your words. I’d go for this solution too.